


Words Cost A Price

by Once_Upon_A_Ghost_Story



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Isabelle is a good parabatai to her brother though, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, There's just a lot of angst, and Clary's a good girlfriend, and like crying, because that's what they are in this, but they're all sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-18 22:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13691544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Once_Upon_A_Ghost_Story/pseuds/Once_Upon_A_Ghost_Story
Summary: Sometimes words cause more than just a wound, sometimes they cost a life.





	Words Cost A Price

**Author's Note:**

> "Since you like angsty promts, maybe magnus is is a really bad place mentally (up to you) and he commits suicide. It’s real sad and dark but I’d like to see how you write it. And also the effect it has on everyone else" was the prompt.
> 
> I guess this more turned into how these three react compared to more, but I really like the ending and didn’t want to like…lessen it I guess?
> 
> Wanna add, this is a sort of AU. Jace did die, because I don’t like him and honestly I don’t really think he’d care that much that Magnus died. He’s an ass. (And he’s a terrible parabatai, sue me.)
> 
> Alec and Isabelle ended up becoming parabatai and Jace can suffer. ;)
> 
>  
> 
> shadow-bellum.tumblr.com/ is my tumblr, feel free to come shout at me. <3 <3

Standing there on the edge of a bridge, the water rushing below him and it was beautiful. There was something dark and luring about it, knowing that just leaning a little farther and it would be over. All the suffering, the pain and the constant aching in his heart that never goes away. It would all stop.

He wanted that. He needed that.

Magnus knew, deep down, that he should go back to the loft. Talk things out with Alec and call Cat back, but he was tired. He was so, so tired.

And he found himself just not  _wanting_  to fix it anymore, he didn’t want to deal with the stares and the judgement. The harsh words that cut like razors on his soul that had been scared beyond recognition over his lifetime. The first ones showing up the first time his step father ever hit him and tears had spilled from his bright shining cat eyes that  _he_  never wanted.

And they just kept adding up until they scared his skin, the rough, raised skin always covered in glamours just like his eyes. Though it was something he never took down, not even with Alec.

Alec, who he thought might finally be the one. The one who would stay with him forever, or at least Alec’s forever. Magnus never expected him to give up his family or mortality for him, he would be okay with just spending Alec’s life with him.

But apparently the other man wasn’t as keen at that idea.

There was a constant thought they had both ignored that once Alec died, he would move on.

And that’s what led to their fight, the long drawn out fight that ended in a blood soaked whiskey bottle and a slammed door. Alec hadn’t tried to contact him in days and Magnus knew better than to call or go over there. He knew that if Alec was done, with the relationship and with  _him_ , that he couldn’t push it.

He didn’t blame him either.

He understood.

But it didn’t help his thoughts as he stood on the familiar bridge that Alec and him had strolled across on their third date, the ghost of Alec’s hand brushing his waist was almost enough to make him step back, enough to go back and figure it out.

_Almost_

But the rushed water under him was calling, begging and  _pleading_  for him to finally join the cold.

It would be rude to refuse such an offer.

—–

Isabelle was the one who found out first, from Cat. She was the one to answer her phone with a chipper voice, delighted that she had finally convinced her big brother to go talk to his man.

All that faded as quickly as a pen could drop.

It honestly felt like  _she_  had been the one to fall in the river, and she was terrified about how Alec was going to react.

She was terrified in general. In any situation she could have thought of, Magnus being  _dead_  wasn’t one of them.

She ended the call a few minutes later, getting more details than she really wanted, but knew she needed.

She wasn’t sure how she ended up in her brother’s room, but she just buried her head in his pillow and tried to get some comfort out of the familiar scent.

Unfortunately, the most noticeable scent was sandalwood.

And she cried harder when she realized why her brother hadn’t been sleeping.

—–

Clary found out because she was suppose to train with the older girl, but Isabelle never showed up. She had looked for her everywhere before checking Alec’s room, figuring it couldn’t hurt.

She wasn’t expecting the puffy eyed girl who stared back at her. The pillow was stained with makeup and small hiccups filled the room.

She didn’t feel extremely comfortable being in the oldest Lightwood’s room, he didn’t normally let people in there, but she knew she needed to make sure her girlfriend was okay .

“Hey,” She said quickly, climbing onto the bed in front of Isabelle and hugging her, petting her fingers through her long hair. “Iz, what happened?”

The older girl shook her head against her shoulder, sobbing.

“A-Alec go-gonna freak…A-and I…” She pulled back, covering her mouth to try and silent the cries. “Oh A-Angel, he’s de-dead…” Her voice came out soft and shaky, her eyes seemed to stay fixated on a spot on Clary’s shoulder as the realization fully set it. “He’s dead…”

Clary gasped slightly, not sure who she was talking about, but it was still a life.

“Who?”

“M-Magnus…” Isabelle looked up at her, whispering it through slightly parted fingers. “H-he jumped off a bridge…”

Her voice cracked as another sob slipped out of her mouth, it was heart wrenching and pain filled and she felt terrible because she knew her brother could feel it.

Clary wrapped her arms around her, her eyes watering and she let out soft, whimpering sounds as she tried, and failed, to not cry.

—-

When Alec first got the call, he had been walking down a random street with random people.

He wasn’t thinking really, just trying to come up with what he was going to say to Magnus. Alec knew he had over reacted, he wasn’t prepared to see Camille that morning, let alone for her to mention his mortality.

All he knew was that he loved Magnus, so much, and it scared him.

The phone rang in his pocket and he recognized Isabelle’s ringtone.

He had been waiting for her call since he felt the sudden emotional pain that made his heart hurt, but he knew sometimes she needed to be able to reach out first.

“Hey, Izzy.” He was worried and he could hear the shaky breathing on the other side.

“B-Big Brother?”

He paused, glancing around before stepped into an alleyway.

“What’s wrong?”

Isabelle paused, sniffling.

“I have something I need to tell you…a-and I…I don’t know how.”

Now he was really worried, she doesn’t normally get this worked up over things.

“Just say it, it can’t be that bad.” He tried to reassure her, but a heartbroken sob was all he heard and he was going to  _kill_  whoever did this to her.

“I-I got a call, a little bit ago…From Cat.”

He wasn’t sure what she was going to say, but he could already feel the fear trembling through his veins. The overwhelming panic that spread through his heart and he prayed to whatever angel was listening that it wasn’t that bad.

A small, hushed “no” slipped from his lips as her sobs continued.

“No, Iz…Please don’t…”

They both know that Cat would never call them unless something happened, unless either Magnus couldn’t call them himself.

“H-He’s d-”

“No!” Alec threw his phone, falling back against the wall and covering his mouth. It felt like he was burning and he couldn’t breath. His pain intertwined with hers and he couldn’t stop the actual scream that broke from his lips, not a single thought on whether the mundanes could hear him or not.

He wasn’t sure if he was still screaming, but he felt like it.

The pain in his heart was to much and he couldn’t stop crying. The concrete beneath him was cold and rough against his cheek, but he couldn’t get up, just staring at the other side of the alleyway.

He wasn’t sure how long he was curled against the ground, letting out sounds Isabelle would later tell him sounded like death.

His whole body felt numb and Alec wasn’t 100% sure he was breathing anymore.

 _ **He**_  wasn’t breathing anymore.

Alec let out a broken sob, burying his face into the crook of his elbow.

—-

She was worried, he hadn’t moved since her and Clary practically dragged him back to the institute and into his room.

Alec just sat motionless on his bed, barely blinking, but he wasn’t crying anymore. He was just…staring towards the closet, the pillow that smelled like sandalwood clutched against his chest.

She could feel the pain burning in her chest as she curled against Clary that night, clutching the girl’s pajamas tight enough to tear.

—-

None of them mentioned anything during the mornings over the next week when Alec would just sit on the edge of the bed, holding onto Isabelle’s hand with shaking arms.

None of them mentioned the random times Isabelle would rush out of the room because of a nightmare she could feel coming from Alec.

And none of them mentioned the red velvet box that hadn’t moved from Alec’s bedside table.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed, please let me know if you did, even if it's just a heart or a good job!! It means the world to me!! <3


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